Friends are truly wonderful to have. They give you advice, and they often point out to you what is good about your life, when you only focus on what is bad. Case in point are some emails and comments I’ve received about yesterday’s entry in the blog.
I can argue, and do argue, from what I know of other people, that my sins are ones that none of my close friends have committed. However, as they would undoubtedly point out to me again, as they did after last night’s entry, we have all made mistakes, and all of us have missed the mark of faithfulness to the God of the universe. I have done both good things, and evil things.
How can this be? How can I look to the faults that other Christians have committed as proof I’m not the worst sinner ever, and that God forgives; and yet at the same time, look at these same people as proof of the relationship I can have with the divine if I only but continue to work at it. It is simple. Both statements are true. They have sinned, so they are not so far advanced over me as I made them to be, yet at the same time, they are advanced in the things of God. I can learn from them, and learn to do one thing they seem to be able to do. To forgive myself.
It’s funny, in a way, because the God of the universe, the perfect, Holy, Omnipotent, and all other types Infinite God of the universe, has forgiven me, and yet, I can not forgive myself. The guilt is something that I must work through. I try my hardest to do so. I am hopeful that I can succeed. I have many goals in life, including meeting a virtuous young Christian woman, and getting married, and eventually having children. None of this is possible, however, until my life is straightened out. Therefore, I must work on this.
To my friends, please pray for and help me to forgive myself, and live better for the Lord, and pray for me that I deal better with the various issues I have from other situations such as Iraq. You all mean the world to me. God bless.
